The Greatest Question Of Our Time

“Thank you for joining us tonight on a special edition of the V Factor. I am your host Scott Lane. Joining me are two prominent voices in the ‘should we or shouldn’t we’ debate. Should we reveal ourselves to humans or should we continue to live and feed in the shadows. This is one of the most important questions our kind has faced to date. With us tonight is Cornelius Voss of the Night Riders Secret Society (NRSS) and Nathaniel Quinn of the National association for the Advancement of Vampires (NAAV). Mr. Voss, I’ll start with you. What do you make of the recent talk of coming out to the human population.

“It’s ridiculous. Look, I’m over 1000 years old. I remember the last time a group of humans got wind of the existence of vampires and they went crazy. Vampire hunts, burnings, staking– an all out war. What did we gain from that? —I’ll tell you NOTHING! The thought that you NAAVs would want to go down that road again is crazy. It’s down right stupid to think anything different will transpire. Do you want a war on your hands. Plus what’s the point? We’ve enjoyed a good thing here. We exist in the shadows, able to prey on whoever we want with no consequences. We don’t belong to any country or government but our own, If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it plus–”

“We don’t belong to any country or government and we have no rights. We have to live under the thumb of nefarious organizations like the one you represent Mr. Voss. Looking over our shoulders everywhere we go in case one of the NRSSs feel they did not get enough money from us to keep us safe. That is what I call the vampire Cosa Nostra and—”

“You are making unwarranted allegations Mr. Quinn and I will not sit here and be insulted by the likes of you. The Night Riders for a Secret Society is committed–”

“Hey, I let you talk. Let me Talk!– Let me talk! Look, times have changed. I believe humans won’t freak out the way they did over 600 years ago. There is more technology now, man has gone to the moon, there are satellites, ipods and laptops, things that didn’t exist hundreds of years ago. Now is the time. We have to lead, not follow. Humans are more educated and they don’t have to fear us as they use to–”

“Fear they should–”

“As I was saying, if we unite as Vampires and reveal our existence to humans it will benefit our society. No longer will we have to hide who and what we are like we are ashamed. No longer will we have to change our names ever few years and or move and start over. Human life is short and any relationship we build with them we have to give up and move and start over so we are not found out. Wouldn’t you like to be able to love and live in peace without the lies?”

“Look, We Prey on humans. They are our food. We drink their blood, get it? Why on earth would we want to let our prey know they are being preyed upon? By coming out, all vampires will be put in grave danger.”

“Danger, how much danger can humans do to us? We are near invincible. What hurts us? Not time, nor weather, nor bullets. Yes, wooden stakes through the heart will kill us, but the Samson company is developing a stake proof vest to wear under our clothes to protect us. The burn we get on our skin from the sun could possible be taken care of if we can freely research to find out why it burns us so bad. Look, aren’t you tired of hiding? Tired of not showing your true essence? Tired of being afraid of being found out. We are too great a species to hide out like we are ashamed!”

“No one is saying we are ashamed, but I prefer to keep our advantage being in the shadows–”

“You and the Night Riders are the only ones getting any advantage. You blackmail us with violence, you extort money because you have the weapons and technology. If we are outed everyone will be able to participate on the free market and contribute to protect ourselves. We will no longer have to fear these men and there—”

“You Liar. We are a peace loving organization and we want nothing more than to–”

“Peace loving?! Gimme a break. You’re not fooling anyone. I know that–”

“Gentlemen, I’m going to have to stop you there, That’s all the time we have. Join Me Scott Lane tomorrow when Charmain Holley and Mathew Broddy will discuss this issue further. Thank you and good night. “

Tell me what you think!
Avery K. Tingle says:

This was sardonically HILARIOUS, and a great spoof on modern politics! The National Association for the Advancement of Vampires? That needs to be trademarked. I love how each group has their own agenda and the idea of stake-proof vests. I felt as though the night riders were the gangsters and the NAAV were the peacekeepers. I chuckled all the way through it; thanks for sharing!

J. M. Strother says:

I feel like I just watched VOX News. Good concept. I wonder if they are called talking fangs instead of talking heads? 😉

At one point I think you mix up the character names.
"You are making unwarranted allegations Mr. Voss…" I think that should be Mr. Quinn, if I followed the debate right.

hojpoj says:

I agree, this piece made me think whether or not humans could deal with vampires in this day and age. The talk-show format is great touch, too. Well done!

Stephen says:

Though we would like to think so, the hearts of men haven't really changed that much over the centuries. What's to say 600 years would make a difference? Nice take on the human condition through this vampire story.

lautir says:

It's nice to see vampires in a new setting. I agree with the one guy though, 'Peace loving' does sound like a bit of a stretch!

Netta says:

Heh. Just goes to show you all species have their political problems.

Clever concept.

Eric J. Krause says:

If the vampires can't even get along, what hope do we have? Nice story.

Chris Chartrand says:

Nice modernization of the genre. I like the debate forum for flash. I happened to do a vampire story this week too.

Laura Eno says:

And to think that vampires differ in their politics, just like we do. Don't they see the similarities?

Cute story!